February 2011
So this past Christmas while baking cookies
I had the brilliant idea to use the cookie cutters to make hybrid cookies, I call them cookie mashups. This one is a combination of a reindeer and gingerbread man and I love him. I wouldn’t let anyone eat him and recently (yesterday) I finally had to come to terms with the fact that I had to throw him away since he was two months old. So I guess I’m posting this is memory of the...
January 2011
A sentence I just transcribed
“To see the reasons for a lot of people that are deceased is to see ‘diabetes’ on there and it makes it even more realizing that as I get older I’m gonna be more prone to maybe not having the good circulatory that I should have.”
I took a short break from transcribing
Mostly because my ears are throbbing due to this whole earbuds in for seven hours straight situation that’s going on. So I just went back to the document and saw where I left off.
It was the start of an interview question so it was just sitting there with all this white space around it, in the middle of the page. I hadn’t even noticed until I went back to it. It sent a jolt through...
1 tag
One of the really hard things about transcribing...
is hearing people misuse words and having to just type it out the wrong way. I always want to add a (sic) or something so whoever is reading it is clear that I’m not the idiot.
Like this lady using “evolve” in place of “revolve” is driving me nuts.
Also, people say “you know”, a fucking lot. Yes, I know. I KNOW!
I just decided what I'm doing tonight
I am making a new CD for my car. And I am SO excited about it.
1 tag
This is definitely the best photograph I have ever...
circa two years ago. I am the best pet photographer EVER.
One of the really shitty things about working in a...
I’m seriously afraid to touch anything around here (especially doorknobs and electronics and well, anything metal really.) It hurts so bad. Sometimes I see sparks! (which is really cool but also can’t be good, right?)
I brought some yogurt and granola to work today...
Probably the best decision I’ve made in a long time.
(This also speaks volumes to the quality of decisions I usually make)
2 tags
My mom walked in on me as I was pouring myself a...
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: Making dinner
Mom: Allison!
Me: Looking out for my cardiovascular health?
Mom: Oh, well okay.
I fucking hate when there is a narrator who is...
So annoying.
There's this little voice in my head
that keeps saying, “Finish your novel, you lazy asshole”
I’M TRYING, VOICE! I’m trying.
2 tags
I guess weekends are for painting my nails and...
1 tag
I went to Sephora today to get some more Rosebud...
1 tag
So I've been sitting at the kitchen table while my...
And she just finished and went to stand up and then she turned to me and said, “Oh here, Ally, I saw this and thought of you.” And handed me a coupon to “SAVE $8.00 BY MAIL when you purchase TWO (2) bottles (750ml or larger) of the following spirits:” then there is a long list of booze, which she read off for me. Then there’s a little section where you fill in your...
4 tags
I should just start a separate tumblr called...
Mom: I hope she wasn't offended, I gave her back the catalog for that sex toy party without any order.
Me: Oh yeah, really?
Mom: Yeah, it was all so expensive!
Me: Well, it usually is, Mom.
Mom: Who would pay $90 for a vibrator?
Me: I don't know Mom, it's worth it for some people.
2 tags
I guess it's "All About Aniston" day on Lifetime
Me: So are you one of those people who loves Jennifer Aniston?
Mom: Oh! It's Jennifer Aniston Day!
Me: Uh...so....yes?
My parents always complain that they never see me
So last night my dad made pizza and gave me lots of wine and we all hung out and had dinner and drank. After dinner we all watched a movie. The movie was a little weird, but it was also kind of hard to hear over both of my parents snoring. They both fell asleep through almost all of it, so I see how much spending time with me meant to them. Also I guess they’re old and were drunk so it must...
I just want a Lily/Marshall relationship...is that...
...oops?
Dad: Ally, did you finish that whole bottle of wine?
Me: Well, not ALL of it...
Dad: How do you even do that?
Me: I went to college!
Dad: What does that mean?
Me: I majored in binge drinking!
2 tags
My mom got really mad at me when I told her I...
Mom: But WHY?
Me: Because he's hilarious and awesome!
Mom: But he's so ugly!
Me: Wow Mom, way to be totally superficial, glad you raised me that way.
2 tags
Underestimation
Dad: I made a dozen, Al!
Me: Cool.
Dad: That's twelve
Me: Jeez Dad, I'm not THAT bad at math.
1 tag
Guess which glass is mine
hint: It’s not the “hot chick” wine glass and it is not the enormous Metallica beer stein
Yeah, I make Trapped in the Closet jokes at any...
Mom: Honey, are you in the closet?
Dad: Yes
Mom: Well, come out
Me: I think he's trapped in there
A bunch of ridiculous things just happened
My dad poured me an enormous glass of red wine. My (drunk) mother then promptly knocked it over, spilling it everywhere. I kneeled on the floor with my mother and helped her clean it up while my dad threw sponges at us. My mother got up, having missed a bunch of spots. I kept cleaning but looked over at my dad who was making a motion with his hand like he was scrubbing the floor.
Me: “Dad,...
Can someone tell me what the fuck this is?
I mean, I’ll tell you what it literally is, it is a screen shot I just took of an advertisement that was on a webpage…but WHY!? and WHAT is in that picture? It is literally horrifying me beyond belief. At first I thought it was a sharpei nursing a litter of puppies. But then it started looking like a human in a sharpei suit nursing a litter of human/sharpei puppy babies. And now...
This makes me feel better
The House GOP's Plan to Redefine Rape →
morrrgan:
bellatrixes:
mehlanie:squintyoureyes:
“This bill takes us backwards to a time when just saying no wasn’t enough to qualify as rape.”
Other types of rapes that would no longer be covered by the exemption include rapes in which the woman was drugged or given excessive amounts of alcohol, rapes of women with limited mental capacity, and many date rapes.
As for the incest...
'Conegato' (Cat - Rabbit) →
mynameispeter:
sowhatbitch:
Villa La Trinidad, Tucumán, Argentina.
This amazing specimen, half rabbit-half cat, has one year and three months old. Is the pet of one of the families from there. He doesn’t eat cat food, he likes vegetables and other kinds of food. He can jump like a rabbit. His…
THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD.
Whenever my bosses ask me to do something they're...
I guess they think I have a work “to-do” list, like, that I actually have things “to-do”.
I was gchatting with my friend last night
And at one point he was like, ask me questions. And I asked, “Well, what should I know about you?” and he said “I dunno. What would you want to know about one of your fictional characters?” And I was like, GREAT QUESTION. So I proceeded to ask him a rapid fire series of questions that I have asked myself about my characters. Here they are:
Do you have a decision to make?
...
So I haven't had a soda in a while and I just took...
1 tag
What's happening in my bed right now
So today did turn out to be a work from home day
Woke up to this email from my boss: “Hi, there is a ton of snow on the ground so everyone should stay home.”
I then promptly went back to sleep and just (very reluctantly) got up.
And I have NO desire to do any work, at all (duh). Working from home is awesome yet entirely distracting. I just want to get drunk with my equally snowed in parents.
Alright, I’m going to go kick...
drinkyourjuice:
Keri Hilson — Pretty Girl Rock...
So I was scrounging around my room looking for a...
(I’m giving this whole mandolin thing another shot) I was pretty sure I had a bunch in a box somewhere in my closet and while looking for it I came across a box full of old letters! This is awesome, I love finding old letters! But most all of the people they’re from, I’m not in contact with anymore, which is sad. Maybe I should amend this?
EDIT: A bunch of the letters are from...
2 tags
I'm having a lot of fun doing my routine little...
Because as much as I’ve been bitching about the snow lately and how it corresponds to work, I’ve already got my little heart set on a “work from home” day tomorrow. So, please snow a lot tonight to continue to make that an acceptable action. THANKS!
“The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a...”
– Carl Sagan (via megodactyl)
If I believed in god I would think I just had an...
Right after I got to work it started snowing really hard. My bosses were like, “Yo Allison, you can seriously leave whenever you’re comfortable because it’s supposed to be bad”. So I found a lull in the snow and booked it home. The roads were pretty okay, until I got to my street, which was not plowed.
Where my house is located is an absolute disaster in bad weather. You...